I don’t think many people know how I got int 5SOS. It isn’t anything special to be completely honest. I knew who they were since their release of their self titled album because I had a friend who loved them, but never got into them like this. So I was a “fan”. When they came on radio I jammed. ‘Lie To Me’ didn’t have an effect on me quite yet.
Fast forward to the day ‘Teeth’ was released. Immediately was a hit for me. That shit went on my playlist faster then you can fan girl at ‘Babylon’-
‘No Shame’ came out then, but I wasn’t a fan at first. Then ‘Old Me’ and that’s when I was hooked. That song was on repeat for me for like a longgg time. I was actually getting excited for their album because I could stay up for it. ‘Wildflower’ dropped and needless to say that I was SO EXCITED-
CALM dropped. I listened. I fell in love with it. This album is one of the best albums that have dropped so far this year. The new direction of their music was prefect for newcomers. I listened to all their stuff after that. Yes, I have favorite songs and some I don’t like.
March 30th of this year is when I learned something through ‘Lie To Me’
You see, I had a very close friend, her nickname is Cookie & no she isn’t on amino anymore. She’s nowhere to be honest. I met her the 8th of September, 2018. She was a sweet girl. We got along very well and we were basically inseparable. That’s until, we had our arguments. They were ALWAYS over the stupidest shit and always my fault. This is what I thought at the time. Every time we fought it was my fault. I was the problem.
This lasted until November 2019 where something happened to her which I won’t ever say because of its personal level. She needed me. I was there for her as I was also suffering from depression at the time because of problems in October. Suddenly, she was telling me so many hurtful things and turned into this toxic person for such a long time. I was dealing with two, sometimes more toxic people in my life every single day. It became too much.
I was mentally dying in that way. I lost more and more of myself every single day. January is one of the biggest blurs. I barley what happened through that month except for Halsey’s album Manic. February was a month of pure giving up. I truly didn’t know what depression was until I had to go through those two months.
March was getting better slowly. It seemed like everything was falling into a right place; yet the situation with Cookie wasn’t getting better. I couldn’t let go. I’ve never done that before.
I was on a 5SOS stream party at firken 3 in the morning- then I decided to watch the ‘Lie To Me’ music video.
I watched carefully, read the comments, and watched again. I knew this had a deeper meaning to myself. And that’s when I realized that I was Luke.. I was in this situation of where I was continuing getting hurt by the people who don’t even care. I lost control of myself.. everything about me was gone. I was having a break down in the earliest hours of morning..... I couldn’t even tell you what time I fell asleep.....
So, that night on the SMAA I made a post titled ‘Something I’m Coming To With’ and sent it to her; then sent “I’m sorry” She never replied. After a week, I left chat. After another week, I deleted all my comments off her wall and I deleted a little Valentines thing I did for her back in 2019 and unfollowed her. As of now, she’s unfollowed me and deleted my birthday post from 2019 from when I turned 16.
I didn’t want to do that to her. I really didn’t. She was such a sweet girl who wanted to do so much for the world, yet doesn’t have the right attitude to people who want to be close to her. She’ll always be close to me.
But back to the song, it did more then just help me end that friendship
It taught me that I can’t let this happen again. I want to live and see myself grow in life. I’m growing a backbone. I’m not taking anyone’s bullshit. I call people out when they do wrong. I don’t have a censor anymore.
Please read this to understand my RAW emotions that night.
Cookie will always be in my heart. I’ll never talk to her again, but I don’t think I can forget her. I’ll always think of her and ‘Lie To Me’. I thank this song and all the good its done not only for me, but for Luke. He deserves the world. They all do.
Thank you for reading if you did. This is why that song is so special. Until next time y’all
- 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 :two_hearts:
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Comments (3)
Man, toxic people make me question if I’m the good person or not. Often times, they make me believe I’m the problem and that I’m not a good person. It’s rough dealing with them, especially when they won’t let you go and the reason for not letting you go is terrifying because you don’t want to be responsible for what they do if you leave them. It’s for the better that you and cookie aren’t friends anymore but I do like that you take the blame for some of the stuff, reminds me of me. The type of people who take responsibility for the things they’ve done wrong are the ones who learn and understand others. As for the part where you said that you won’t take anyone’s bullshit and will call them out for their wrongs, I like that in the person because I lack social skills and I don’t know when I’m too honest or happen to be a little mean, I don’t really understand how I hurt people but apparently people don’t like to be corrected on their writing lol, found that out through school. Anyways, be careful about that though. I find that sometimes it’s best to keep your mouth shut. You kinda have to observe a situation and really decide what’s the best course of action- step in or be quiet. Well, hope you get better with depression cuz trust me, it sucks.
Thank you for sharing hunny
I understand when to stay quiet, it’ll be better that way.
I hope you feel better while growing up because it will-
I seriously thought February was my last month but I hope you keep growing
Reply to: //𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬\\
Yeah, I didn’t expect to make it past 13 but I’m 17 and I don’t think I’ll make it past 20 but we’ll see. In the moment- it never feels like I’ll be better but I know that I have to try and I have to do human things like brush my hair, get dressed, all the stuff people do during the day to keep their bodies healthy. I have no motivation to work out so I clean instead lol but I find my way through things, I guess. If you ever want a friend, I’m a very understanding person and the more friends I make, the more improvements on social skills. (I have anxiety and when I was a kid, figured out I really liked being alone so I isolated myself a lot and never quite gained the social skills I was supposed to at that time).