それで良い ¦ So let it be

Hello AA!

It has been a while since I have been here, but I saw this challenge on the 17th of April and it looked like a lot of fun to participate in. Not gonna lie, I am kind of speedrunning this. Why am I doing this so last minute, you ask? Well, let us say that people tend to procrastinate. I really should not be doing this, but there is only a few hours of free time sadly,so the formatting is kinda ugly as well.

To be honest, this was only possible because I already wrote this. It just happens that this challenge kind of aligns with the theme I was going for. Months have ed by and I lost the original edit I had made for this blog, so a new one it is as well. Of course, I did rewrite parts and I updated it accordingly.

The reason why I wrote this in the first place was to remind people that they are not alone…At the same time I just wanted to talk a little about one of my favourite characters. Of course, the younger me is the center of this letter, but I hope that it will reach many others as well and I hope this might move someone and be the turning point in their life as it was for me back then.

#LetterToMyself

To my younger self who feels lost,

While most people would not write a letter to themselves, I think this might be something you might expect. After all, we are still the same person. The only difference is that I have a little more experience than you do, but even so, I do not think that much time has ed.

I know you are someone who lives in the moment. I know you are someone who does not show her worries too much, especially not in front of others. But you know what? It is okay to feel lost.

I know you are worried about what you will be doing after high school. Everyone is applying for college or university, but you have no clue yet what you even want to achieve in your life. Maybe you are the odd one out, because it does not seem like you are as ionate as your friends. Of course, it is not like you are not putting any effort into your future. I mean, I know you have been brainstorming with your family and your friends and they are all very lovely people who would help you anytime. It is just that you genuinely do not know. I know that you have been thinking of studying sociology or anthropology and you will apply for something like that as your major, but… Life is quite unpredictable, you know?

I am not very good at writing, so I might word things awkwardly. There are people who are probably far better at wording things and writing it super prettily, while we are still struggling to convey what we want to convey. Well, maybe we really did not change that much when you think about it.

You will start your first year of university, but you will drop out after six months. To be honest, I think this was one of the most difficult and stressful times for me at that time. I know you started to do part time jobs, because life is very expensive, especially the money you have to pay for university. Despite still being quite unsure about the future, you will keep doing what you love and that is watching anime.

One day, you will see this anime called Tsukipro and this will be a turning point in your life. You probably have listened to songs by Growth already and I am quite certain that you started to watch the anime for them, but who knew that your favourite would change after watching and checking out the series.

“You are fine the way you are.”

This is a message that is very prominent for a character in the series: Ohara Sora. At that time, he was also a high schooler and he also struggled with life. He was quite uncertain about the future and just like that, he closed himself off. Maybe it is because of his silly problems, maybe it is because he gives you secondhand embarrassment… Maybe it is his imperfections that made you look at Sora. You will relate to him to the point that you will even watch the live action movie of SOARA and that will be such an eye-opener for you.

LET IT BE is a song made by Sora (in universe) and that song is all about the fact that it is okay to be yourself and that you should not change yourself for others. This song will become your main theme in your life and otherwise surely for 10 years.

Sora is what he calls himself very childlike and because of that, sometimes he feels a little left behind. Does it not sound familiar? In 2021, the second season of Tsukipro will be released, and there is an episode talking about this particular issue.

"I know that I'm extremely childish, but… Recently, you've been gaining lots of experiences I don't know about in places I don't know about. We've also been spending less time together… There's more and more of you that I don't know. It's like you're the only one steadily becoming an adult, and I guess it's frustrating or lonely. I'm not changing at all. I'm doing the same thing I did as a high school student… doing music. Even though everyone around me is growing up, I'm still a child and I'm being left behind." — Ohara Sora, S2EP2

It feels quite lonely when you feel like you are the one being left behind. People seem to ‘grow up’, but to you, it feels like you have not changed at all compared to your high school days. While everyone is trying out new things in their life, you are still living in the same comfortable rhythm you always have lived in.

What I have realized is that you should not worry about others so much. Your kind nature is very commendable, but it is your biggest flaw at the same time. Always wanting to meet the expectations of others, but in the end you fail to see the answer that has been right under your nose. You will realize that.

This same episode will also bring a remake of the very important song of Sora, “LET IT BE”. There is one thing that is different though. The original is sung alone. The song sounds very melancholic, but most of all, it feels like a song to comfort someone. The new version, however, is sung by the band SOARA. This version sounds so nostalgic and hopeful… Sora is singing with his friends as he is not alone anymore. He has found his spot in life and you will find that spot as well.

Right now, I am procrastinating. I am supposed to write my thesis as I am in my third year of university. Hopefully, I will graduate, but you know that life can be funny at times. Amidst all the stress, I am still listening to LET IT BE and Sora's words still resonate with me deeply.

Like someone said to Sora: “You're already flying!” You do not have to be afraid, because there will always be someone to soften your fall. It might seem scary to walk an unfamiliar path, but I know it will work out because it is you.

Taking the first step is already half the work. when you ed Amino? You could barely speak a word of English and you were made fun of online because people are like that. Right now, I am writing this letter, this blog. A few years ago, I would still be avoiding writing at all.

Even when it feels like you have lost your way, that you are not the only one walking this path. I wish I knew sooner that I am not the only one struggling, even if everyone seems to know where their destination is. The truth is: everyone is unsure about the future.

Doing the most mundane tasks does not seem like a lot, but think about it. When did it become the “normal” in your life? Before you know it, it will already be integrated into your life. Writing 500 words per day for your paper? It might not look like a lot, but by doing it every day, it will become a daily routine. Before you knew it, you had already reached 8.500 words in two weeks.

Even if life does not seem to be very kind to you, there is already not enough time to do the things you love, to spend time with the people you love. So what I would say is: let it be. Do not worry about everything. You will manage, you will be able to adapt. You have always done that up till now and I know you will get better at it as time es by.

No, your English will not be on an academic level. Your writing skills will not improve that much either. You will still be worried about your future, but I promise you that you will be able to enjoy every day a little bit more as the days by.

If it is you, I know that you will be able to share your joy with everyone else. You will not only light up the world of others, but you will become the guiding light for yourself as well.

I wish you can challenge yourself and try out new things in life at your own pace. Who knows? Maybe you will find joy in these things or maybe it will become the new normal in your life.

You will be fine!

— lae

Ohara Sora | OPL | ± 1 hour, 30 minutes

Thank you for reading this far! When I was still on Amino, I did make a lot of edits. That was my hobby after all. Nowadays, I do not really make edits but I had to make this one since I lost the old one for this blog…

This edit took way more time than I planned on doing, but I did want to do one of my favourite character justice!! To be fair, I thought that making the render would take more time than the edit, but I was wrong…very wrong. Atleast it turned out pretty…?

Once a phone editor, always phone editor! I still love Ibispaintx, but my phone makes it a little difficult to use sadly.