Which Devil Fruit Would You Eat IRL?

Which Devil Fruit would you pick to eat in real life?

(or do you like the ocean too much?)

Of course, you don't get Haki and the ocean saps your powers just like in One Piece. And yes, you get all the way up to Gear 5. But don't be distracted by the Gum-Gum Fruit's obvious superiority in power. In real life, both Devil Fruits would allow you to destroy practically anything, and stand up to basically anybody.

Quick rundown:

String-String Fruit

   The String-String is my favorite Devil Fruit, and in my opinion, is probably one of the strongest ones, and is also my favorite Devil Fruit.

    The String-String Fruit allows you to create virtually indestructible strings that can bend and straighten at will, and can slice through basically anything. It can control people like marionettes, fly you around at insane speeds, latch onto clouds to avoid falling in the ocean, stitch wounds with extreme precision, and even create clones of yourself. Insanely versatile and one of the most discreet Devil Fruits possible.

   Okay, we all know what the Gum-Gum Fruit does. I'm just here to remind you of it's applications in real life.

In base form, you can stretch any part of your body to extreme lengths. You could obviously grab anything whenever, but with less ease than the String-String Fruit. But you can make you-know-wnat as big as you want. Your entire body acts like rubber, making you immune to electricity and pain from any impacts, but you still get cut of course.

The biggest downside for me is the fact you can't turn off the fact that you're rubber. It would be pretty easy for someone to discover your power if you wished to hide it, leading to government-whatever-nonsense. Plus compared to the String-String Fruit, this one is pretty slow. The String-String Fruit can climb on clouds, allowing you to pretty much just fly across the planet. Plus it can create clones which would let you complete several real world tasks simultaneously.

In Gear 5 you have a bit of cartoon force. That means you could do things that sort of wouldn't make sense, because comedic value justifies it. In real world , you could probably survive space, deep underwater, or extremely high temperatures.