My secret Santa..! #1

I don't quite what life was like..

No..

I mean.., what perfect life was like..

Many things were different.. many were difficult for me as a child..

Its not like they are better as a teen now..

But atleast i don't live in a false hope..

Where was he?

Is not the question that troubles me know..!

I'm far done with that..

I was a kid raised in an orphange..

Quite normal.. for me atleast..

Because i had never seen my parents.. never..! Nor did someone adopt me..! They said i'm a troublesome child.. thats why no one wanted to adopt me!

I was a physically unstable child.. with a weak heart.. which was on the verge to stop any day.. and the fairies were waiting to take me away.. to their world..

I still him saying that..

When someone dies.. the fairies take them away to a better world..

No matter how that person was.. good or bad.. because god thinks everyone deserves better..!

I his face.. ever since i could faces. He was very elder to me.. But we always felt like the same age..!

He was very pretty.. very..

I still could tell him apart from a million people.. even after so many years..

The first time i could feel him close to my heart..

Was that Christmas..

"Ya.. give my present back..!"

I yelled at the boy..

"What will you do with that.. take this doll..!"

He yelled back.. i was on the verge of tearing up..!!

Then began the fight..

I know it wasn't a good thing to do.. but as a five year old, all i could do was fight ..

It was christmas again..

2 years of my childhood.. i was gifted useless but cute little dolls..

I never liked them.. what i adored was that aeroplane.. beautiful and fancy..

I always wanted that, but never was i gifted one!

This time when luckily i got a little one, the other boy snatched it from me..!

I took the doll.. and ran away crying..

That is when a boy came to me..

"Hey.. i don't like my gift..! Can we exchange?"

He said..

He had a very big plane in his hand.. even bigger than the one i had before..!!

"You don't want it?"

I asked sheepishly..

To which he just smiled.. as he sat next to me..

"I like your doll better..

Can you give it to me..? I'll give you mine..!"

His words felt like the words of god for a kid like me..!! He was almost double my age.. no wonder he was that sincere and kind..

That was the beginning of things between us..

He was a very adorable boy.. who lived with me.. as an orphan..

"What is your wish..?"

He asked me often..

"I have many..! I want to grow old.. get pretty... i want to fly an aeroplane.. and earn a lot of money.. So then i'll buy a plane.. and i'll fly you everywhere you want..!"

Just the thought of seeing him happy made me think i would win the world..

He, was the world for me..

No one really talked to me..

Girls hated me.. because i never understood their things.. and always wanted more boyish toys to play with..

Boy hated me for the same reason..

Everyone had their groups..

He was my group..

He always encouraged me in whatever i did..

Unlike me, he had very little dreams..

I just want to make my family happy. To see them smile..!"

Was what he always said..

He had seen his family..

I did not.. maybe thats the reason..

I never realised we had the same dream.. as it was too young of me to tell that he was my family.. and i wanted him happy..!! That's it.

He said he saw his family die.. in front of his eyes. They were so poor.. they couldn't return the debt.. and got killed..

And here he was.. all alone in this lonely place.

I thanked god i never say my family.. because if i would.. then it would be so hard to let them go..!

He on the other hand was strong as hell..

I never wanted to let go of whats mine.. and i thought life was going easy on me..!

I would never leave him alone.. and he would never mind..

7 years of my life.. i lived the best..

I never knew what a birthday was like.. and i always used to cry when other kids celebrated theirs..

He always said Christmas was my birthday..

But god has a very big heart.. so he gifts every child on my birthday..! I too believed him blindly. I never cared to think about what the truth was.. as long as i had him..

I always believed he was my birthday gift, which god had for me..!

Untill one day..

I never knew i was seeing him for the last time..

I still cannot forget every detail of that day..

How he kept telling me to take care of myself.. to not worry about him.. to not think too much about him. How he made me believe.. i can do anything in this world without him. How mad i was.. when he said, i should live happily incase he leaves..!

We had a fight.. and i still .. him running behind me.. when i asked him to go away because i was angry..

My day ended so well..

It was a long long day.. we smiled.. fought.. played along..

And.. when he told me one last bedtime story..

Telling how the prince would return for the little princess.. when he wins his kingdom back..

I always liked his stories.. except this..

I couldn't sleep for a longer time that night.. but he tried his best..! Next morning i woke up as usual.. to find him gone!

He had to leave the orphanage..

He was 18.. he couldn't stay here anymore..

Everything made sense now.. everything..

But it was too late..! I could tell what i tried ignoring for years, suddenly hit me like a truck..!

I had lost someone of my own..

My 12 year old brain had no idea that people cry when they lose someone..

He never taught me that.. and i never cried. I wondered if his stories were true. I wondered if he would really comeback. More than that i was worried where did he go..? What would he eat..? He was very choosy in of food. But i knew he would be safe and sound somewhere..

He left all his gifts back.. as his memory.. and i still have them.. except for that one doll i gave him on the very first day..!

Its been years since that.. no one really came. Maybe he forgot about me. I don't blame him. He was in the big open world. The world which can give him anything and everything. I too had to leave the orphanage when i turned 18..

And its been a year since i've been living on my own.. hoping one day.. i would see him.

Only for once.. i don't mind.. just for once!

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