Placebo

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Placebo- " i shall please"

Placebo is a non effective substance which is similar in appearance used as a psychological replacement to the original one. For e.g.. a fake medicine given by a doctor who thinks that the patient is not necessarily ill and it's just in his mind. In such case, a placebo is just a tablet with no existence and no effect of itself but still pleases the mind of the person to make him think he's been treated and cured.

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"Hoseok-ah, hurry. I'll kill you if you're late.."

She whisper- yelled as the chaos behind her clearly reflected her enthusiasm. Nervousness evident in her voice.

"I'm 10 minutes away baby..!"

I casually said as I decided to run the way across the hall to the lift. Stares from people made me give a second thought about speed walking but it was too late to regret about stuff. Pressing the lift's button multiple times I waited there taking short glances at my wristwatch.

"Half- boyfriend on duty again?"

Joon interrupted with a mischievous smile.

"Shut up you jerk.."

I said as I pushed him a little.

"Mind your business. I heard you have extra work to do since you lost the file to the main presentation.."

I reminded. With that he disappeared in thin air leaving a little "oh shit" behind for me to laugh at..

My trembling fingers started the car as I stopped on the way to buy her lillies. It has already been 20 minutes since her last call.. I tried my best not to think of it. My goal right now was to reach there safe and go back home safer. I knew she'd stab me if I miss her performance. My mind as crowded as the streets.

For a minute I wanted to park my car in a corner and wait for life to by. For a minute I wanted to disappear and never come back. For a minute I wanted to be there with her but for a minute I didn't want her to know I was there for her. Life had been treating me rough lately.. very rough.

Few rings interrupted my thoughts..

"Hoseok-ah..! Where are You? Your mom is here too.. why aren't you here at this time?"

She said clearly pouting as I could hear it in her voice. There was a reason I loved her. I knew her like the back of my hand. We knew each other for years now. Not much but almost half a decade.

"I'm 10 minutes away.. I will be there.."

I said. Not realising something.

"That's what you said 20 minutes ago. Are you in some time travel that you won't know where have you exactly reached..?"

All I could do is laugh it off. She always catches me. Maybe i'm too careless to hide my lies better. But she would find out anyways.

"I'm so mad at you right now.."

She exclaims.. I knew she was mad.. I was sorry about that but I couldn't help but laugh at how she likes putting her emotions into words thinking I won't know if I cannot see her.

"Don't worry. I have something that could make up for it."

I explained.

"Like a gift?"

She asked again..

"Something like that.."

I tried to sound casually cool.

"What is It?"

She asked. Stupid question.. I know. But it was just her curiosity.

"A giant frog. You love them, dont you? So I asked my friend to get you a real giant frog as a pet.."

"Ewwwww.. i don't like frogs. I don't want your gift. It's better if you don't show up now. I'm happy with this life."

She added as she cringed. I knew how much she hated frogs. That was the only reason I called her frog. It always reminded her of the moment I accidently created a scene.

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"Students.. I've been promising you since a long time. Today is the day. We're having our first animal dissection. Everyone please shift to the lab."

We were 17.. I still . We both had ended up taking biology in the optional subjects. She regretted it.. I didn't. Unless they took us to the lab to appreciate little creations of lord. I knew it was a cockroach.. the first chapter in dissection section was about it. Anyways I had a partner.. i'd ask him to pin down the animal and I'd have no problem dissecting once it's locked.

"Oh god.. it scares me.."

A timid voice said and i looked behind. It was the same girl from last time. The violinist. The one who I clearly shedding tears while she played a melody. I could feel the pain in the song but the way a stream of tears left her eyes made the feeling worse. Its not like I liked her. It was just.. she was different. And that made me stare at her a little longer every time.

"Table no 13."

The teacher called out and we walked towards her.. she handed us the glass container covered with black sheets from all sides. We put the box down.. but this gave me a weird feeling. Why was a cockroach so heavy? And so jumpy?? Being stupid in time.. I opened the lid to take a sneak because the sides were covered. With a fraction of second did the frog jump on my face as I screamed taking a few steps back stumbling over things and the frog took a run from my shoulder to behind me. I heard a couple of loud screams and someone crying so loud it would tear my tympanic membrane.

The girl from before.. the frog landed on her and she had already jumped making her table fall and sat down on the floor crying while half of the class laughed while half of them were just shocked. Ofcourse I got scolded real bad.. but I also created a bad impressed on someone I.. I.. had a little liking towards.

It took me 3 more months to be friends with her. Me doing things multiple times and she rejecting it. Things turned out well later and since then.. I've been doing things for her and trust me she hasn't denied once. I regret that now :joy: .. i'm her personal slave is what she describes.. I don't mind though. As long as she smiles like that.

"Hoseok-ah.. let's go to a movie.."

"Hoseok-ah.. my legs hurt.."

"That's sad.."

"Thats it? That's all you have to say? Carry me on you back.."

"You're heavy. Probably 3 pounds heavier than me.."

I joked.. but she anyways made me do things she liked. I couldn't resist her.

"Hoseok-ah.. I'm hungry."

"Okay. Go and have something from the kitchen."

"We don't have food. It would be great if someone bought me some.. Ahhh.. what a tragedy! A little girl like me has no one to buy me food."

I every of her over dramatic statements. Every of her stupid comment. The way she cried when she thought she wouldn't reach home that night when she missed her last bus. How could I not know, she was obviously gonna miss it. She kept drooling over that guy from our class who went to the same music class as she did. Ofcourse he wasn't gonna drop her if she got late because he wanted to learn some things from her as she was the best student. I still how she wasn't surprised at all, as I showed up. As if she knew I would be there. She cried anyways. She said the fear made her do so.. but i know what was so sad. The way he cared less about her, made her sad.

That day has ed.. ofcourse. But I cannot forget any and everything that happened ever since I met her. I knew she felt the same. She had the same warmth for me. She hated making friends.. but the way she called me herself everytime. The way she asked for things herself.. it was evident how much she loved my presence.

"Why? Is my frog scared?"

I laughed.

"No..! Scared of what? A horse like you..?"

She laughed too..

"7 more minutes. If you don't come by then.. I will.. i will.."

"Breakup with You?"

I suggested and she laughed..

"Yes.. breakup with you..!"

"Ah.. i'm thinking I better dont show up then. Life would be much easier.."

I suggested.

"Ya!!! Don't you dare. Be there in time.."

She warned before hanging up. I knew she would. She would leave me if he decides to come back. A word from his mouth and she'd leave the world for him. If only he decides that he wants to give them another chance.. i' d be lonely again. I was scared.. I knew. But one thing i always wished.. was for him to never return.

I was only a minute late..but I'm screwed. The moment I saw her with him.. it was like the world flipped. The stage all crowded with musicians.. but what stood out was him and her. The way he smiled with his eyes when he looked at her as they both calmly played their melody. The audience engrossed in the musical play barely noticed how her lips quivered. Only I could see that. She couldn't even concentrate when he was around. She knew that. I knew that. He knew that too. Why was he back then? Maybe to take her away from me?

But then again.. was she ever mine..? I was just a placebo. Just the cheap replacement when you cannot find the need to take the real one.

What was I scared of?

I never owned her to lose her. I knew how much she loves him. Even today. It's been a year since he left her because he wasn't comfortable with them. He replaced her happily. She couldn't. I had to convince her to no extend. And I obviously knew I was just something to get her mind off him. I took it on myself. I wanted to be with her. I didn't mind if it was just for a day. I wanted to be the one who made her smile.. claimed her mine and loved her like no tomorrow. Even for a day, I wanted her to believe that the one who loves her would love her till the very end.

I knew I was living a lie. Now that I knew what would come next, it killed me. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to hear her apologise and cry saying she wants to go back to him. I knew how he promised her to comeback when he feels good enough about himself. I knew it all.

My feet were trying to give out. I couldn't get myself to face her like this. I never realised that i' d turned around long ago and started walking towards my car.

That was probably the worst day of my life. It has been 3 days since then. Three days of me living at my grandparent's house. What an escape plan..!! I had to face her. One day or the other. Why am I so surprised when I knew this would happen someday..! I opened my phone to a 183 messages. The recent one being..

"Call me right now or i'm breaking up with you..!"

What a lame threat was it..!! I laughed a little..

"As if you wouldn't if I call.."

Was all I could reply. I know it sounded a bit salty. But tears made me salty. I cannot be blamed.

No reply for a few minutes.. but then a call disturbed every chain of my distressed thoughts..

"What the f* ck is wrong with you Jung Hoseok? Where are You? You said you' d be there in a few minutes.. and it's been 3 days. Are you avoiding me? What's wrong? Did I do something? I'm sorry if I did something you didn't like.."

Her voice cracked making me feel more bad about things.

"Hoseok, what's wrong? Why are you leaving me? Please don't leave me. I won't make you do my things. I won't trouble you. I won't fool around when you're working. Please don't leave me."

She cried..

That was the exact moment when I realised. How stupid was I..! All she needed was someone to please her mind and let her know she was loved.

Even if a placebo, I guess it cured her.

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