Oxygen feels utterly toxic to breathe,
a caustic inhalation with every costal expansion.
Lungs flooded with coal and pus fight to merely sigh,
my septic exhales dew the leaves beneath my feet and sprout bells of nightshade.
Heels rooted in rorulent dirt like roots of the earth,
bleeding congealed marrow into graveyard soil.
Stood statuesque in my damnation,
an IV bag for worm farms.
Beyond the point of palpable, no.
This shame is tangible.
My skin is scaled with guilt;
cartilaginous bones wilt beneath a shell of meat hastily sutured,
pulling nerves so taut and torqued,
a rupture must be imminent.
The gravity of blame weighs a pressure on my heart,
too firm to beat what sepsis remains to be filtered.
My counselor advises,
but her wisdom I cannot heed.
For this to have been self sabotage,
a mechanism with which to justify my own pervasive self loathing.
Excuses excuses,
every piece of shit is laden with them.
Debaser and defiler,
a rotten monster who renders Satan himself a sight for Angel eyes.
Something in me revels in this anguish,
swaddles and coddles any manner with which to propagate it.
See no good.
Do no good.
Be no good.
I am nothing.
A withered husk of what once could’ve been,
a prophesied failure personified in flesh.
A blackened Midas touch,
a purveyor of all that is rot and rank.
I deserve no salvation,
no forgiveness,
no chance for rectification.
I roam the earth sewn to Cains hip,
and even he is disgusted by my foul transgressions.
Something I’m working on idk
Aluminum work is coming back, getting my practice in
Hello
Let’s not dive into why everything above was so miserably morose today but head is not doing well. Fuck it, we ball
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