I GOT SO CLOSE TWICE

Ok so y'all I've been trying to shift nonstop for the past few months (it hasn't been draining lol, or if it has, its blending in with how draining being around people is so I haven't noticed) and I put on like a few subliminals in the background and sometimes I also listen to a guided method because why not, you know? and so basically there were two instances where I got super fuckin close. so I've been trying different methods, and sometimes instead of listening to shifting subliminals I listen to lucid dreaming subliminals and two nights ago, i became lucid (I was like "hold up my sister's room doesn't look like this and it ain't a tattoo parlor" then I stuck my finger through my hand) and as I was asking if I could open up a portal to my dr, I was getting excited cuz I've been trying to shift since october and as soon as I started thinking about my dr and started opening the portal, I was awake. not in my dr, one second I was looking at the portal and the next I was looking at the back of my eyelids at three am. it was very disappointing but, hey, it is what it is. so last night, I was, of course, trying to shift again, but I fell asleep. in my dream, the guided method I had been listening to was on repeat even tho I had made it so another sub came on afterwards. so I was trying to shift (in my dream) and suddenly I was feeling everything I scripted and my eyes opened (in my dream) which I had also scripted and so I was super excited bc holy shit I thought I had shifted. but no. I wasn't in my dr and I also wasn't in my cr and I wasn't even in my waiting room. it was all just in my dream! so yeah I consider those really the closest I've ever gotten to fully shifting. thank for reading this lol, ik it's a whole ass hot mess but this is my first ever post and my phone keeps lagging so I tried haha. good luck to all you lovelies, I'll update if something else happens ig. 111 222 333 444 555