♡ | back to the way we were • art and short story

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♡

I had a dream

I got everything I wanted

Not what you'd think

And if I'm being honest

It might've been a nightmare

♡

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"Kris, we're going to be late for school. Get up, you sleepyhead."

A light tug accompanied by a gentle shake. His naturally jovial tone makes its way into my eardrums, buzzing them awake, though his voice has a hint of annoyance and urgency. The star student mustn't be late after all.

With half-lidded eyes and an overemphasized yawn, I sat up to meet his gaze. I didn't even have to look to see his smile. My heart saw it.

"You actually woke up today!" he rejoiced, giving me a light pat on the shoulder. I wanted to tell him that I only woke up because they were serving mini waffles at school before 8 am, but I'd rather not hear any more sermons from him.

My pupils struggled to fixate themselves onto him because of his dazzling aura. I felt as though I wasn't supposed to be able to look at someone like him. The glint of his golden trophies and medals from across the room blinded me, as they normally would.

"Do you want an Azzy back ride?" He extended a paw for me to take, and all I could do was nod and oblige. This was the daily routine at work again. I was always a step behind. Not that I minded at the time. I didn't know better, and I still don't.

His soft and comforting fur brushed against my nostrils, causing me to sneeze lightly; the first sound I've made that morning. "Bless you," he murmured as he made his way down the stairs with much care and caution, his grip on me tightening a little. I did the same.

Maybe I should've let go.

• • •

Eyebrows knitted but his lips trying their best to keep a smile, he knelt down in front of me and offered me an expensive brand of chocolate. It was one of my favorites, ittedly, but I threw it away in a fit of anger, letting it be crushed on the road by a ing car. He looked perplexed and shocked, then with a sigh, looked me in the eyes. Mine were full of tears already.

"Kris, I'm not gonna be gone forever, you know?" he began, brushing my hair aside. I slapped his hand away, letting my bangs cover my tear-stricken face. Once more, he let out a sigh. There was nothing he could do that could calm me down. For the first time, I'd be walking without my crutches. It felt impossible.

With a hesitant hug, he whispered, "You can do this. I believe in you." I didn't want to let go. He knew this.

One last glance. He gave me that wistful look he'd show me whenever we had to part ways for class, but this time, I knew he was going to be gone for real. Maybe forever.

• • •

Looking into the mirror, all the nostalgia almost killed me. I touched the tip of my makeshift horns, tears naturally falling down my cheeks. I couldn't help it. I miss him so much.

I miss all the things we used to do. I miss the simpler times when we'd just play all day then go to the diner in the afternoon. I miss everything about him and how he helped me out.

But in hindsight... did he really help me?

Conflict filled my soul as I thought about everything in another light. Perhaps constantly living in his shadow made me a weakling always striving to at least be at par with him? Perhaps always being watched with those high expectations that he set only made me feel smaller?

When do I let go of the crutches he gave me? Soon? Never?

Clutching my head full of assorted doodads related to him, I felt them dig into my skin as my grip tightened. It hurt. It really hurt. It hurt how he just left me like that to fend for myself, letting me be the weakling that I am. He made it so that I could never live without him. He made me incapable of doing so.

I just want to return to the simpler times when I didn't know this all.

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╭───────────────╮

explanation

this is a look into kris'

struggles without asriel.

they cling onto the past,

leaving them constantly

despondent and longing

for asriel's return.

i tried to include notable

items in kris' hair accs,

but some of them are

random. i hope you like

this aesthetic piece.

╰───────────────╯

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time taken: 2 hours (art), 40 minutes (story)

programs used: ibis paint x, picsart

word count: 703

#deltarune

#theadornedauthors

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