Something very wrong (vent/rant)

I feel dead inside.

This app feels dead to me.

I don't know what happened here.

Somethings are very wrong.

Some are with this app. Some are with the people. Some are a bit more personal.

I've been holding my feelings in too long.

I'm going to let my demons out.

(Sorry but This is a long post. I have had so much on my mind and i am Just venting it all in this one big post. Some stuff is problems with this amino and some are with personal experiences. The combination of these things have gotten my hopes low and I feel sad. I hope you have the patience to read it all. I've worked hard on this)

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unrelated content/ reposts

The undertale amino team tried to make other aminos more accessible, so you could easily switch between your favorite aminos.

They wanted to make it more centralized and make it so you could meet new people.

But, in order to connect more people, I think the amino team accidentally made it worse.

A flood of unrelated content came in.

More than there ever was.

Probably 66% of all the posts I see are NOT undertale related in any way.

The chats are rarely ever undertale related.

I've been unfollowing people for pointless reposts and content that I don't like or that I'm not interested in.

Like bendy.

Bendy is the new thing that's been showing up.

I don't care about bendy at all.

You can like him all you want, but this is the undertale amino. I came here for undertale, not some Mickey Mouse ripoff.

And the "repost if" and "repost or else" posts.

Those serve no purpose at all.

None.

Even if they are undertale related. (Which 97% are not)

They still do nothing unique.

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likes per post/ unreliable followers

I have a lot of followers I think?

Over 3000 followers?

Yeah right.

I know this sounds greedy, but shouldn't that mean that I get at least 1000 likes on each thing I post?

But the thing is that only about 10 of my followers actually care about me.

The rest don't even have a reason to follow me.

Can't even get more than 40 likes on most posts.

Only a few posts go past 100 likes.

My first post ever is the only post to go over 200 likes, and it's a stupid story about Undyne having flashbacks to her real father raping her.

To this day it still baffles me as to why that post got over 200 likes, and featured.

Stuff like this makes me not want to post art.

Many things I've started have gone unfinished because I've lost confidence in making art.

Any ideas I have about art usually have already been done in one way or another.

And the only things I do draw nowadays, and the only things that I have new ideas to draw about, are Undyne x Alphys p*rn.

And that's not allowed here.

It makes me sad.

.........

The featured page.

At first sounds good.

But It creates unnecessary competition.

All we do is try to get featured.

I wish I didn't have to do that.

I do it anyways because it sort of forces us to try to be featured.

I try to get featured.

I only want a little bit of my art to be featured.

My latest drawing that I actually took a lot of time on is pretty much a perfect example of a featured post, as I even looked at the featured rules to see how to get my post featured.

Now? It's just going to be another forgotten post, just like the rest of them.

This makes people feel unappreciated.

It makes them confused. angry. Sad.

They lose all hope.

And when they do get featured, they don't know why.

They're like "why did my art get featured? It's so bad and nobody likes it at all."

They're self esteem had gotten so low.

My self esteem has gotten so low.

All because of not getting featured.

To make matters worse, I saw a post that was featured.

It was only about spaghetti.

Nothing special. Just spaghetti. The post was named "papyrus' spaghetti".

And it got featured.

Literally just normal spaghetti.

Kind of rubs in the fact that my art will never be featured.

a 20 minute dinner plate is considered more special than a 6 hour colored drawing.

Makes you feel like you have no talent.

Makes you feel like no one appreciates you.

Just because we didn't get featured.

It's strange to think how something so little can have such an immensely negative effect on someone's life.

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poorly executed updates

A while ago, undertale amino made some updates to try to improve this app.

As usual, they didn't do too well.

The leaderboards also add more stupid competition.

Ranks can lead to bullying people of lower ranks.

The ranks are a bit better now, since they changed the names of each rank.

But one thing that's really annoying it the orange bar in your profile if your is not activated.

It blocks so much of the screen.

And I can not even activate my .

I messed up one letter in my email and now it is impossible for me to change it at all.

At this point I don't even want the benefits of activating my .

I just want the annoying orange bar to go away.

........

This app has gotten way out of hand.

It's kind of like my experience with the video game team fortress 2.

When I first ed that game, it was awesome. It was amazing. It was perfect.

Soon after I ed, things started to change for the worse.

It became different while still being familiar.

But it still never felt the same way.

I've had a similar experience with this amino.

It's made me very depressed.

Its caused a lot of stress in my life.

But I still come back to it, because it used to be good.

........

But, there is something else that's bothering me.

Something that is a lot more personal.

Something that I've been holding in for far too long.

personal problems

It's about the role play group that I was in.

I used to be in a role play group.

There was Alvie and more.

One day, they were RPing a fight with Chara.

I tried to help. I thought I was going to be useful for once.

But I wasn't.

They didn't want me to be in that RP fight.

I felt shunned.

I just wanted to help.

Then they somehow made a whole RP that lead up to a war with humans.

I tried to help. I tried to be a part of that RP.

Once in the RP i even rescued a slime girl.

No one cared.

No one will.

I didn't want that RP war to happen. I started to make a comic about how I was going to save the monsters and free them all.

I was too late.

The RP war happened anyway.

And once again I was useless.

A bit more recently, but still a while ago, I noticed that there was no more RP. They kept doing this.

((It really annoyed me because we had to put EVERYTHING in double parentheses, like this))

I got upset and demanded that we role play.

I don't what we did in the role play, but we finally did it.

It didn't last.

We still didn't RP.

The last time I was in that chat, they were showing their hands for some reason.

I ed in and showed my hand. I took it in a way that showed Lego guns I made in the background.

Some else got their background noticed, and all there was were some stuffed animals.

I was already on the breaking point.

My Lego guns not being noticed somehow pushed me enough to crack.

I hinted at it subtly that I was annoyed. I got people to notice my Lego guns and for once I was a little happy.

Then In another chat, Alphys told me that I was being aggressive.

So I apologized, saying that I didn't want too much attention, which made people confused.

Then I started to vent about a drawing that Undyne did that I asked her to do, but did it not that way that wanted, which also made me sad.

I was removed from that chat.

Probably for the best

Undyne and I sorted it out in the other chat we have.

I guess in my frustration I couldn't think of a better way to go about it.

I felt like making a big deal about it was the only way to get any help with it.

Again, It's funny how such little things can have devastating impacts on our lives.

And I don't want to go back to that role play chat because I know that if I go back, the people there will hate me, or totally have forgotten who I am.

And now that I think about it, I think that Alphys are caring less and less about me.

They don't really like any of my posts anymore.

I think it's them getting featured.

Alphys has gotten featured 5 TIMES in just 2017 alone, along with features from October, November and December of 2016. That's 8 featured posts.

I saw a post that showed someone being forgotten by someone who was their friend who was featured so many times.

I fear that this is happening to me.

I don't want to be forgotten.

I want to have fun times with you, and everyone.

I want the problems of this amino to be fixed.

I want to have a purpose for being on this amino.

I want to just see undertale content.

I want to be happy when I go on this amino.

........

But.

Who cares, really.

I'm just some transgender girl on the internet.

Good night everyone.