F*cked Up - Yellow

Riley 🖤 02/18/22

🩹

Color Coding: yellow (tw: themes of abuse // cw: swearing)

🩹

⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣

⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

i fucked up my brownies

the cake peeled over the icing

so now on one side it’s all crumbly

i stare at my creation blessed

with my head tipped right, yet

her hand moves me so it tips left

my limbs are statues of tension

my whole body buzzes with apprehension

i don’t plan on giving up suspicion

when she moves around the room, i notice

when her face shifts a bit, i notice

when she looks at me that way, i notice

in order to survive, i must fucking notice

she’s changed but i still hear it behind her words

go to church, little daughter

your turn to pray, little daughter

well, isn’t this just pitiful?

gave life to eight with something hopeful

breathed hatred in our lungs, now she’s shocked, huh?

to her, i’m still a kid making a mess

my life is meant to spill at confess

she was always one to gossip

why doesn’t she just put out her fists?

rip my vocal chords out while she’s at it

and threaten me with taking what little freedom i’ve got

oh, how much i care

that fear in my eyes, she put there

my only comfort is leaving here

control

petrol

take it all

burn the cross at the stands

feel free to take and tie my hands

she’s isolating me, it’s all in her plans

play the priest

for me please

i’ll give him a dollar, you see?

call it a tithe

i’ll talk to hold a tide

storms are crashing behind my eyes

he sees what you do

when will he leave too?

a matter of time and it’s soon

you fucked up your son

i was your final one

now i’ll become the setting sun

🩹

Likes (28)

Like 28

Comments (2)

Sepia

Wow. Just, wow.

Straight up. Right from the first stanza, with that evocative, damn good metaphor, I knew I was in for a ride. And what a ride it was!

It’s honestly not fair, Elliott. How you can be so good at stories, and then pull out this amazing, personal, raw, gorgeously written poems. That’s way too much talent. Give me some of it, please! >_<

But honestly, those metaphors and descriptions had so much creativity, depth and emotional resonance. They work immediately as strong imagery, but then you start “peeling” it back and you find deeper and deeper layers to them.

And that rhyming! You know how much I enjoy rhyming and holy snap, I loved how you did it in this piece :heart: It created this rapid, high energy flow, that really helped with the raw, aggressive nature of the piece.

The themes are familiar. You’ve touched on them in your other poems. But I really feel like not only has this one refined them to an art, but it has managed to condense so many of those feelings and concepts into one damn good poem.

I think this is one of your best. I’m definitely saving it! Amazing work :sparkles:

1 Reply 02/20/22

Riley 🖤 Author

Hehe thank you!

That metaphor actually happened! This poem is a product of a hard week where lots of things rang true for me, lack of freedom, lack of control, some close calls with s/h... to give myself something to do instead of doing something I’ll regret, I made brownies. And sadly the icing was.. eh.

Hehe you’ve got enough talent for yourself :triumph: whatcha talking about. But seriously, thank you... so much.

Thank you!! I love metaphors like crazy as you can probably tell lol

I usually don’t rhyme, but I felt the piece was missing something when it originally didn’t rhyme. So I added some! I’m glad to hear the decision was a good one :D thank you!!

I definitely have, yes. Not as aggressively as I have here but I have made some innuendos to some of the themes in other poems.

Really?? Thank you!! I’m super proud of this one so that means a million to me <3 thank youuu

1 Reply 02/21/22