❝Rather than fitting in, we should focus on belonging❞

Hello beautiful hoomans!

So in today's blog, I'm gonna talk about something very common, something you guys must've done yourself too or still doing who knows.

It's common knowledge that we, humans want to fit in our respective societies. From childhood, our parents raise us in a way so the "society" would accept us. We do so many things trying to fit in that sometimes we forget about ourselves. We always think about what others would want us to behave in certain environments.

Like if a friend of yours got bad marks and you got good marks, you aren't supposed to celebrate since you should console your friend, like when teachers or other students make fun of your friend or classmate and although you don't find it fun in any way you still laugh along with all of them to "fit in". I think a lot of us do things like this on our daily life but what if you try too hard to fit in that you forget about yourself ?

I recently watched a jdrama called "Nagi no oitoma" whose English translation would be : Nagi's ( our protagonist's name ) long vacation.

The drama tells us a story of the protagonist named Nagi who's trying so hard to fit in the environment around her to the point she suffocates daily. She's trying hard for people around her to love her cuz that's why we want to fit in right ? We human beings always want to be loved and accepted by others and to have that love and acceptance sometimes we go overboard hurting ourselves without knowing.

But is it worth it ? Is it worth presenting yourself in a way you aren't ? For example if you are introvert but try to show your friends that you are extrovert just to fit in and be loved and accepted by them ? Ofc they'd love you but only because they think you are an extrovert and not the real introvert inside your heart. If you keep suppressing yourself like nagi, won't you forget who is the REAL you? won't you get confused between you and your avatar ? Won't you forget the REAL you ? Won't you collapse like her too ?

That's right, due to nagi suppressing herself for too long, she faints due to hyperventilation and then decides to change her life and way of living by taking a long vacation hoping that during her vacation she'd find herself. The REAL her. Before diving deep into the drama let's first know our main characters.

So here's a protagonist who's obsessed with reading the environment around her and fitting in but the problem is, she has suppressed her real self becuase of that too much. She has "friends" in her company but they seem as fake as the avatar she's made of herself. She has a boyfriend but he's a big jerk who apparently only likes her and is dating her because of good sex.

Nagi used to have curly hair, she still has them afterall they are natural, but because of her childhood friends teasing her because of that, she straighten out her hair everyday and it takes away 1 hour of her day yet she still does it again just to "fit in" .

Nagi is a very simple kinda naïve character. She easily falls in love with someone and when she does, she falls hard haha . She's actually very good and that's the problem. She always think of others rather than herself and that is the reason why she doesn't know a thing about herself. Things like what are her dreams, what kind of job she wants to do, what are her hobbies, what kind of boyfriend/husband she wants, she knows nothing.

She has lived her whole life trying to live a normal life, trying to have good friend a good enough boyfriend who's rich and stable so they later can marry and have children and live a normal life. To do so, she has to daily challenge herself to overcome the obstacles so no one hates her, so no awkward moment can occur and so no one teases her but isn't that impossible ? It's human nature to hurt other people atleast once in your life without noticing, it's normal to be in awkward situations or get teased, trying to avoid these kinds of things would make you avoid yourself too.

And that's what happened with Nagi. Nagi is a very real character and as she's rather simple and naïve she makes a lot of dumb and silly decisions which would make you feel that she's irritating but she's supposed to be like that. She's supposed to be a realistic humane character with flaws and strengths. She's supposed to make us feel irritated from time to time yet we'd still root for her.

As the drama is about personal growth it's a given that she'd receive a lot of Character development but gradually cuz no human being changes within a night.

He's the character you'd totally despise in the beginning but would eventually start liking him until the end. In my eyes, shinji is a misunderstood character who also needs character development and fortunately he got that by the end of it. Just like Nagi, shinji is obsessed with reading the atmosphere and fitting in but the difference between them is nagi hurts herself in order to fit in whereas Shinji hurts others in order to fit in.

For example, in workplace, there are a lot of sexist guys who thinks women are just sex objects and all that and when he has conversations with them he'd also start acting like a sexist man that is only together with his girlfriend cuz she offers sex which is the exact opposite of reality cuz he truly loves his girlfriend for who she is, although he has a hard time accepting that but still.

You can call Shinji a Tsundere but he's more complex than that.

If Shinji is a character you'd hate in the beginning and love in the end, Gon is the exact opposite of that, atleast for me. He's the playboy type who's all sweet to you and all but the problem is that's he's too sweet to EVERYONE.

Although the drama is a love triangle one but don't you get fool by that. The drama does resolve around Nahi being confused on who she loves and both of the boys tries to win her but the drama's focus is not at all about that. The drama's main theme is about self-discovery, self-love and self-acceptance. The story does revolves around nagi since even the drama's title has her name but also shows us the journey of Shinji's character too and in my eyes, he's as important as nagi.

Ofc you can ship who you want with Nagi but let me tell yall, whoever your ship is with, it's gonna sink lol this is not even a spoiler but rather a disclaimer that don't watch this cuz it's a love triangle cuz It's not. It's not even a proper romance lol

It's about Nagi finding herself, what's her dream, what makes her the most happy ? Stuff like that. During this journey where she decides not to read the atmosphere, she also finds true friends that provides "delicious atmosphere" to her which results in making her feel easy and does not suffocates her.

The drama tries to tell us that we should not fake our emotions, feelings and opinions just in order to fit in cuz that way it would make us fake and our conversations would hold no meaning, our friends would hold no meaning and we'd forget about our ourselves which is something that shouldn't happen.

It also teaches us to listen. The whole drama's purpose is to love ownself before thinking about others but it does not in anyway say to not care about others since they made a whole episode of nagi understanding that she should listen to her friend's or other people's problems and be empathic with them.

The drama tells you not read the atmosphere to the point you suffocate, rather try to make it delicious for both of you but in a way neither of you are neglecting yourself.

I feel like that's a message a lot us hence I made this blog. I also loved how the characters changed gradually but not so much. They still were the same people afterall. It was a realistic portrayal for sure.

Anyways, thanks for reading my blog! Don't neglect yourself! Love yourself!